I caught you. oh yes I did...

Here it is my guilt filled epilogue.

I wrote my 3rd final today and the way it works is that students are seated beside others writing different exams for different classes/faculties you get the idea. We aren't allowed cell phones etc. So I'm writing and writing and the guy beside me has his blackberry out. Oh My God. Is this really happening? He's cheating! I'm basically shaking in my seat now because I don't know what to do. Should I leave it? let him cheat and think it's none of my business. Or should I tell the examiner?

I decide I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, I mean maybe he forgot to turn off his phone and that he had it on him. Maybe.. Well he didn't he kept taking it out and checking stuff on his phone. Now I was torn in 2.

Is it fair that we pay over $5000.00 to go to school and work hard to try and earn some marks and people like him get away with cheating?

But if I tell on him he's probably going to go on acedemic probabtion. I read more into my exam, and thought "hey if he does it again then I'll tell"

In the back of my head I could here my sister's voice screaming about human rights and equality as ridiculous as that sounds. By not telling on him was I promoting cheating? Was this something I was OK with?

Nope it wasn't so on my way out I told the examiner what had happened. I feel like a rat, but then at the same time, the rest of the students worked hard for this, it's not fair to cheat. If I hadn't put a stop to it I would silently be promoting it. I feel bad because I'm sure whoever he was he was probably a nice person, but that does not give them a right to cheat, and have an advantage over all of us who spent so much time studying right?

Yes I'm procrastinating...again. I've discovered the most amazing photographer/model on flikr (http://www.flickr.com/photos/rosie_hardy/2597191927/in/photostream/) she is amazing her phots really are awesome. Other than that not much, I try to focus on school and work but I'm still greiving. But hey if you get a chance check out the pictures. Also February is coming around the corner and its Heart and Stroke month so go out and raise some money and awareness.

Coolio Imma bounce

My expose

So here I sit writing once again, I lost my uncle. My dear, dear uncle. I used to live at his house until last year when I went off to university trying to live out my dreams. I wish I could explain just how much he means to me. I guess I should give some examples to clarify. Being a girl my grandparents didn't really like me. I'm a girl, and god forbid their son have a daughter. My uncle took me in with open arms at the age of 1. He knew how longingly I had looked at my grandparents when they shunned me into my parents bedroom. He knew how much I hated myself for being a girl. Often times in elementary we had these assemblies and performances. Rarely were my parents able to make it, and my little 6 year old heart would break. But then I'd look into the crowd and see his face smiling up at me. Encouraging me. After a couple of years my sister and brother were born. I love them so much. My sister became daddy's little girl, and my brother became my mom's spoiled son. My parents would always say who their favorite children are. It's not that they don't love me, I guess too much happened with my grandparents that parts of them just couldn't make me their favorite. It was ok though because I had my uncle, his wife and kids. I would laugh and say make them your favorites I still have two families. He was a drug addict, it would kill me inside to see him leave for weeks or days on end and we wouldn't know where he went. I hated him then, I hated him for making his children wait outside of school. I hated it when I lost one of my cousins and he couldn't come to his house. I hated it when he didn't know what he was saying high off of god know what. But in my heart I knew I could never hate him, I was angry and young, and yet I could never bring myself to say anything to him. He was like my second dad after all. Finally after a back surgery things declined for him. Doctors would prescribe ridiculous pain killers and he would OD on them. His health deteriorated and us, his family did nothing but tell him to stop taking drugs, we didn't understand that he was in pain. Never believed it when he said he thinks he's going to die young. I love him with my heart and soul. He took me in when a lot of people had turned their backs on me. No one will ever realize what I lost and I see that now when people ask me why I wasn't at work, or why I deferred exams. When I tell them, they kind of shrug it off as if to say well it was only your uncle. Can't you see that this smile is fake? That when I go silent I need you to hold my hand? You think I'm ok? I'm not every second I remember trying to resuscitate him after the paramedics said he's dead. I hear his mother's wails, I hear my mom, his sister's screams after they took him away. I hear his daughter's repeated call of "daddy" thinking if I say it once more he'll wake up. I hear his brother yelling and crying like a mad man. I see his son staring at me as if asking me if it's true. I see his father a lt. colonel who has never lost a war stand forever defeated. Now when my parents tell me who their favorite children are I can't laugh. I miss him. Please try to understand that.

Chicken Little told the truth... kind of?

Nine years. Nine years ago the face of the world changed. We were all slapped in the face with reality. We’re still being hit blow after blow. When the towers fell everyone had that Macaulay Culkin face from Home Alone. I wish that had been the worst of it, but it wasn’t. What followed proved to all of us stupid kids who believed that the world by the twenty first century was moving toward peace, and our brains had evolved enough to overlook the differences in colour, language, religion, and community. We haven’t evolved that much. Growing up in the 90s post Cold War, I guess I always knew that we weren’t at peace yet. People were still fighting in remote corners of the world. What I didn’t realize was that 54 years after the end of the Second World War the world would be at war again. We would be discussing Social Darwinism again, I thought we had disproved that. I didn’t realize that once again North American governments would start hiding information from their citizens. I didn’t anticipate the retaliation on Iraq, or Afghanistan. I didn’t realize that people would believe in a War against Terror. It scared me. I would hide in my room and cry when I watched the news. God I hate CNN how they promote hate and propaganda, how Muslims were targeted after the attacks. Dear God doesn’t it end?
That’s when I found her. I don’t know her name, I don’t what she looks like, all I know is her blog. Riverbend, thank you for giving the world insight to the happenings inside Iraq. Abu Gharib proved to many people that at this point Americans were de-humanizing Muslims. Kind of like Nazi’s did when Jewish people were thrown into Ghettos. I watched cowardly as I am. The only time I would speak out was online, in my class, and community. Too scared to travel to the Middle East and help people like Riverbend who are forced to live without running water, minimal food.,…any rights. She did get to live with worry, the sound of bullets, and memories of murdered family.

When Obama was elected everyone breathed a sigh of relief, thinking maybe the world’s not so bad, maybe we can accept.

Today Florida’s minister is burning Qur’ans.

Please God Help us.

As I procrastinate...

I know it's pretty evil, but I think at one point in their life every girl does it. You know how no matter what you can usually tell when a guys into you, like actually into you and you pretend that you don't know cause your not sure if your interested. Yeah... you know.. I know you know. That little period of back and forth flirting watching him get desperate man it makes me laugh. Watching while he tries to catch your eye, innocently staring away..well innocently enough. I swear thats what summer flings are all about. Your nervous and shy, but all you can do is smile and hes trying his best, you can see that...but you still want to push his buttons. That point just before you dive into anything.. that little itty bitty chase that you remember when your alone and wish damn couldn't that have lasted longer while you wait oh so impatiently for the next time you meet...and act like "hey, what are you talking about, I wasn't despretly holding my phone in front of my computer waiting for you to call/text/email". Why can't we just say it, tell them that we were desperate to see them, to smile, and blush while they watch us bewildered, grinning for no reason at all? Is it cause we're scared the chase will end, he'll stop trying? not like us anymore? Slow things down, or is it cause the demon takes over and we just want to torture them. Whatever it is man, does it make me laugh.

the world..."post-wars" and my usual rant.

The smell of basil, that's what I remember. I can still smell it just a little bit. The helicopter blew all the leaves everywhere, on to roofs, through the fields and on to the faces of those kids chasing the gigantic flying monster we arrived in. They flocked us like we were celebrities, something special to be looked at. I hid my gun. That's when I saw her. She was tiny, but she had these deep brown eyes. I swear it was like an ocean of brown, they were filled to the rim with something that shouldn't have been there. That wisdom...the experience with death. Her face was burnt, and she hid behind a small veil. Being completly oblivious to everything but her, I tripped and my gun fell through the green and grey uniform, silver like a flash of lightening. I know she had seen it, I saw her look of horror when she ran away. That was the closest thing to childhood innocence I saw there.

My favorite music

I'm done my final spring exam THANK GOD!!! so finally i can return to listening to music, I'm so sick of listening to the same songs over and over agian on the radio the top tens, of hip hop and rap and whatever Katty Perry is, I used to actually like that stuff man the lyrics make no sense the tunes have been done before. I guess I just craved any music I could listen to while I had the time. Now I have loads of time =) so i thought I'd share with you.
So heres a list of songs and bands that I have fallen in love with:

K'naan- TIA do i even need to say more?

We The Kings-Every time I hear one of their songs I'm danicing around in bedroom (ignoring those random scandolous stares from my neighbors) the lyrics are so good!

Taken by the Trees- Its actually just one girl she sings soft music i love her voice, makes you feel upbeat and happy =)

I love the way you lie- I didn't think the song could be so good but it is

MGMT- the music is so good.

Owl City- Esp his newest albumn

BOB airplanes- i like the chorus and the music

Kevin Ruldoph

Good Night-Black Eyed Peas- Yeah the first song that was played after Canada won Gold, why would I not like it?

some taylor swift... and a mix of others =)