An (Un)known Prison

Even on a cloudless day
You won't let me live,
I need you
and yet I dare to deny it.
Dear God forgive me,
I am a sinner, washed away on shore
Lost on an unknown island
made out of clouds and chains,
and Hell just a pothole away.
It's killing my soul
Eating at the remenents of purity that remain
Help me find my path
Back to you.
Back to the shelter of your guidance,
Back to hope.

Lights, Camera, Action.

The Nittly Gritty Show business has the old school Gothic Glamour to it. I say this because I'm utterly impatient to watch Water for Elephants, the novel was beautiful and the movie (hopefully) will live up to my expectations. I'm not a fan of Robert Pattinson, I don't know if thats because I hate the Twilight series or if it's cause he can't act. Anyways speaking of acting it's officially been two years since I've been on stage. Two years ago I played the dreaded Stanley Kowalski. I miss my wonderful Stella (Vincent) why are you 14 hours away? We had an amazing drama get together it was so much fun we laughed and Sulty still had our acting evaluations. I didn't even remember but apperently Ms. Lomheim had noticed that I had crossed my legs under the table, which was much too lady-like for Stanley. Ah well, I had fun shouting louder than the average person should. There's a picture in our year book of my and Vincent looking like we're about to gate-crash a cross dressing party. I think Vincent would get a little angry if I published it on the internet so I'll keep it. Here's an amazing picture that fits the context of theater and circus in my mind.

Today I'm smiling
It's not because I've replaced by tear ducts with the scars on my arm
It's not because I'm trying to fake it
It's because of you,
Thank you
For being there and listening
For making me laugh
For being yourself
For that wonderful date I'm really looking forward too.

Thought I'd share some of my favorite things

While We Were Watching Rebecca Black

Watching the news

Airing from Libya.
There were a bunch of men on the screen but one was his eyes wide with fear and dread. On the ground there were about 5
bodies. 5 tiny little bodies. They lifted off the cover of one body, it was his son. He screamed and fell to the ground. He hit the
ground. For a good 10 seconds he screamed and screamed until the screen changed to commercials.
Before, I was able to watch and feel very detached, watch the death shown on the screen from a political percepective. But those screams are familiar, they are the same screams my mom emitted, my grandma let loose, my cousin punched into my brain. The lamest words I can say is I'm sorry. They don't help.

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In a tiny Glass Bottle

Into the world I come
Breaking free of your chains
The tightly bound clouds.
Into the water too deep to float
Into the water to dense to sink.
The blue all around the small
Disarays of sunlit crystals.

Well behaved women seldom make history.

Its 5 degrees celcius outside, thats right it's bliss for all of us in cowtown. It's sunny and no clouds, the snow's melting and I'm studying bcem. My observation of the day: Massive puddles! and no one is jumping in them. Not a soul. Well except me, but that doesn't count. So here's my logic

People want to be sensible... sensible=mentally healthy=happy. To be happy you NEED to jump in puddles and thus to be sensible you must jump in puddles.

Muahahaha in your face people that gave me strange looks, I'm the sensible one here.

Addiction

The slience beckons me
...come near my child
Into the Darkness
...away from the Light
into a tiny loophole of Happiness
into a world of dread
..come near my child

Innocent Obsession

Your eyes,
they scare me.
The way you look at me,
the intensity of your stare
The sneaky glances,
When you close them,
The way they look down at me when I'm in your arms.
You see deeper than my skin
You hear more than just my heart beats
Your eyes
see more than they should
But I wonder can you see how I freeze up everytime
I see your eyes,
can you see my breathlessness
Can your eyes see that I grow more and more crazy
with every word, with every touch.
More and more lost without you
more and more addicted to you.

In today's news.

6:30 in the morning, in the car listening to radio

and the droning apathatic voice said "Thousands of bodies washed up on the shore"
..."And now for our main story how this earthquake will affect oil prices"

well so much for a morning filled with human goodness.

Well my hopes and prayers are with the people of Japan and all those affected.. a little less with those affected with just oil prices, but you know what I mean.

This one is for Stephan, cause Jesus is on your side

and then I floated down from the clouds
To you,
To see the glistening tears you presented me with.

little lies

It took a while to open my eyes to look around at my kidnappers face.
Gruffy, tall, and a cigar in his mouth. Smoke billowing. Black eyes.
It was hot, I could feel a small breeze playing down my back from a small window some 6 feet above me. It was the only window in the room. I looked around at the cement walls and floors.. if I don't look at him, maybe this will be a nightmare...
Flashes. Thats it.
Eventually I heard the corporal's voice. Eventually I found myself home.

Impossible... bitch please

Moody behaviour and here I am on the internet. but I found something ridiculously amazing! HELLO FLYING HOUSE!!!

On March 5, 2011 National Geographic put together a group of experts to launch a real house into the air propelled by balloons just like the movie UP!

I get it I'm immature, but UP was such a cute movie, and this is some amazing stuff. Apparantly the house stayed up for 1 hour.

Because you can't catch me

Unpublished letters

Dear sister,

I hear you. I hear it when you complain about them. I get it their old, and they said stuff they shouldn't have. I get it. You lost your dad. You don't know what to do.

Dear Mother,

Yelling about what sister is saying to grandma won't help. Let it go. They have to deal with this by themselves, its going to take longer.. I know your just trying to keep his spirit alive but ma your brother is dead.


Dear Random Strangers,

If you want to come to my house 3 months after he died to give condolences. Suck it. Leave us the fuck alone. Your not helping.

I really like this dress it's out of a new Turini runway show, for Spring 2011.

I love Harry Potter and I found some pretty funny pictures =P. I'll add some more later.

Happy Cheesy Pick Up Line day

So this morning I got an amazing text saying that I am to send a cheesy pick up line to all of my contacts, "to make their day"
The one I sent: So I brought my library card can I check you out?
Mine was pretty lame but over the day I got some pretty awesome ones:
1)Are you an alien?
Cause you just abducted my heart?
2)Nice pants can I test the zipper?
3)What has 142 Teeth and hides THE HULK?
My zipper
4) (ok this one is slightly creepy) Do you smell cholorform on this rag?
5)How about me and you make a miracle on 34th street?
6) You got more curves than a bottle of Coke
7)You dropped something...my jaw
8)Your daddy must be a baker because you got a nice set of buns
9)Can my y=mx+b lie tangent to your parabolas?
10)Did you just fart?
Cause you just blew me away
11) If I was an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so that I could unzip your genes.
12) Are you lost becuase its a long way from heaven
13)Do you know karate? Because your body's really kickin'

Your not so smooth

You think your a lady's man but your not as suave as you think. Your so funny thinking that someone would like to be with you forever. Don't get me wrong but why would someone actually want to spend their entire life.. with 1 person. 1 single person. Honey if you think I'm a princess that is waiting for that one person, we have an issue. I'm a free bird and I do as I please.
Haha oh darling your so sweet and innocent.

You better hide your kids, hide your wife... Hide your husband too

I was watching American Idol a couple of days back and I realized that it was the most dramatic and cheesy show ever. No jokes, JLo started crying, there was the vocal coach from "HELL" and of course Ryan Seacrest. Actually for the last week I have been watching some really crappy t.v. No good movies, and if you don't believe me Jersey Shore was the epitome of exictment this week. Yeah its that bad.
But while I was bored out of my pants, a whole lot more happened on the other side of the world, the middle east is heated yet again as everyone knows. In Libiya. And don't get me wrong I love revolution just as much as the next person, but is it not odd that it's all happening right now. First Egypt then Libya, and there are rumours that mass public might try to revolt in Iran again, and a virgin Yemen might see some action too. Gaddafi, last week has been rumoured to be shot. It's worse because the places that are covering the news cover their headline by saying the price of crude oil has gone up .... and by the way the old man might be dead.
Gaddafi isn't dead.
I hate to be the pessimist, but I feel like since the fall of Suddam Hussien which a lot of people thought was a revolt, and something great for the country, it was taken over by religious fundamentalists. While Egpyt and Libya try to fight off tyrants, they might just do what Afghanistan did and throw power at those who shouldn't be in power. I guess we just have to wait and watch.
In the mean time anyone who is reading please have a minute of silence for the two protesters killed by police yesterday.