For those like me

Today I spent the day crying. The first time crying my heart out in four months, and it feels so much better now. I wish I could have done that for this whole week but I guess I Wasn't ready, part of me wants to do it again just to see how much more of the heavy load on my heart gets off. I think this is the road to recovery. I think I can finally let it out. I didn't cut. Not a single added scar on my arm. There is still a lot of raw emotion inside me that needs to come out, and I know that because I hate being alone, and my conversation skills have still to reach where they were before all this. I'm going to cry again, this time when there is someone around me, my mom, so that I can get my hug and cry. Finally I cried. I don't feel as numb anymore. Maybe this will turn out okay.

I watched Oprah as well, I was never an avid viewer but I have been interested in the last week because it's the final few episodes, and she talked about how she turned to food to stay away from sad feelings. I guess that's like cutting they both harm you and are a way to hide from stress and depression. I guess after 2 attempted suicides and cutting there is no where but up to go from here. Atleast I pray that this is true. My heart goes out to everyone who suffers in this way don't give up.